Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
