Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
