I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
