he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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