So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize