I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
