You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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