3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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