would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
