You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
