half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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