Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
