bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Randomize
