I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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