At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i wish my penis had a tongue
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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