Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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