So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
