"it" just moved
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Randomize
