Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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