I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
