He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I need water and some morals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You are a genius and a whore.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize