It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
