spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
