But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
