just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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