I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
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While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
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It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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