Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
