You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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