Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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