I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
In other news, I just burned my penis
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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