I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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