Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
