my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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