You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
