he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
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We left an ass print on the piano.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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