That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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