Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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