I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
