I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
