and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
