i need an iv and a liver transplant
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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