Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
