Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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