I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
