I think I won the penis lottery.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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