im having a threesome with these popsicles
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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