Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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