problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
