You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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