He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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