Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
