Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
