The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
