Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize