we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
