I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
