i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
a search helicopter?!
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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