is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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