Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
