if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
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You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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