you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Four minutes until I can fart!
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize