You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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