Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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