so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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