You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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