I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he was CRYING into my vagina
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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