There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
