We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
